A demented refugee from the (late) eighties writes...

I thought I'd cracked it, folks - I thought I'd finally found that old Konami arcade shooter I had played in Electronic Experience all those years ago with the beautiful rip off/homage of Chopin as the level one music - Yes, indeedy, Thunder Cross seriously, genuinely, desperately looked like it fitted the whole goddamn bill...

The look of the thing definitely rings some major bells with the old boy, especially the section with the multi-level parallax red cloud background (still a sucker for that stuff). Other wee touches like the big old metallic bosses (no, not another errant Sabs reference) are very much in the mould of the mystery game I'm thinking of... and I am still 90% sure it was published by Konami...

However, as that famed Zen master Roy Walker might have said when confronting this particular situation, "mmm...it's good...but it's not right". The dread realisation was something that I confirmed for myself first hand when I stumbled across this vid of the game being played from start to finish - it's full of standard issue late eighties synthy j-rock game music, all well done natch but nothing at all like the game music I'm hearing in my head - all upbeat, bass heavy, eminently danceable shit, no moody piano sonatas whatsoever, zero zilch zip nada. I sat through it all and watched the whole f**king thing being played to completion (yes, I am one singularly sad bas - hell, you must know that already) but, grud on a greeny, it just ain't the one... :-(((

So my (deservedly) lonely quest goes on - I move on to another place, assume another fake surname again, hope to God the folk in the next town don't make me angry (sorry, different quest, wrong meeting, erm, carry on)...anyway, I'm begging you, please, someone out there has just got to help me !!! Do I have to plough through every single friggin' japanese horizontal scrolling blaster released between 1985 and 1992 before I get any satisfaction around here ?!??!

Damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Oh Lord Yawn - Uncle Mex's Albums of 2006

Greetings music lovers! Yes, I'm finally getting around to posting that "best of 2006" albums list that I promised a couple of posts back. Er, it seems that the whole notion somehow got lost in the midst of the traditional new years alcoholic stupor - mea culpa. So, please bear with me while I disappear up my own fundament and indulge some of my frustrated wannabe Melody Maker scribe fantasies and get all Lester Bangs on yo ass. Only a top five, once again - and why not?

Black Mountain - Black Mountain

Said on the tin Neil Young meets Sabbath by way of "Animals"-era Floyd. Well, I'd certainly buy that for a dollar. In fact, I did buy that for a dollar (or, erm, ten). And they weren't kidding. Saw them at the ABC and they were pretty damn sweet live. Has to be said, heroic levels of facial hair, even the women (er, well I was very, very drunk).

Mogwai - Mr Beast

Moggies on auto-pilot, frankly, but still good enough for old Mex - in fact, Glasgow Mega-Snake would have got this one 5 Ks in Kerrang on its own if anything to say about it I had, young padawan. Saw them live at the Albert Hall (no less) last autumn and it was just about the best f***ing thing that I have ever seen. Really. Sounded like sticking your head in an aircraft engine as the afterburners kick in - something Uncle Mex himself tried one time in days past but we won't go there.

Boards Of Canada - Trans Canada Highway E.P.

Not a full album but this is my bloody list so bollocks to the lot of you. This is more of the same dreamy, ethereal, yada yada "intelligent techno" (barf!) that they've been peddling for a good few years now. Like most folk who listen to it, I also find it taking me right back to school television circa 1978. A good thing I'm sure you would agree (right???). Don't care about them covering the same old ground every year. Another ten along exactly the same lines would suit me, thanks.

Swan Island - The Centre Will Hold

Stumbled across this one whilst searching Google news one morning for new scriptures from my God(s) - it's amazing the number of tenuous links made to the dark lords by desperate writers covering any band who peels off the odd palm-muted, (slightly) down-tuned riff or two. Hmm, don't see it myself from these ladies but this is a wee gem nonetheless. Sounds to these jaded ears like a new wave band having a bash at classic rock - say Blondie playing, erm, Bachman Turner Overdrive. But so much better than that, honestly.

Sunn O))) - Black One

Moves like a supertanker crossing the Arctic Circle on a particularly stormy midwinter's night. Slow slow, quick quick, slow. Without the quick quick. Seismic detonations at the bass end of the scale running at 16 and a half rpm - at a push. Jeez, I've been waiting on this kind of stuff all my miserable life. Saw them twice at the ABC last year and both times they did a better clear out job on my bowels than a steam powered hydrochloric acid enema - another Uncle Mex speciality that will be discussed at a later date (or maybe not). All told, not for everyone.


Well, how do you like them apples ? Admittedly, this whole nerd list creation thing is probably just another manifestation of my inner Aspergers geek-need to order and categorize every little thing I come across - hmm, that might just be another wee list to ponder...probs keep that one to myself, thankyouverymuch. Anyways, same again same time next year - super.